A guy I knew in my school days once told me a story bout a guy who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy who was once caught cheating in the worst way imaginable!
I do not know the name of the hero of this story, but then again, it is prudent to not mention names when the story is rather embarrassing for the protagonist...
The veracity of the story is indeterminate, I almost certainly believe that this is a concoction cooked up in the mind of a remarkable storyteller amongst my childhood friends, yet a part of me begs that this is indeed a true story... Enjoy!
They were tense. One pensive look was returned by another. Silence spoke a lot; through their eyes it betrayed what they were going to eventually suggest to one another. The three standard 10 students in the empty class were bracing themselves for the nightmare of nightmares... The Biology examination...
One broke the silence, "Man, this is stupid. There's no way I'm clearing this exam. I can't draw those damn cells, I can't spell those damn diseases and I can't distinguish one amino acid from the other."
Another replied, "I'll second you, bro. I'm screwed as well. No amount preparation will see us through this exam."
The hero spoke up, "It isn't about the amount of preparation. It's about the type of preparation..."
"What do you mean?" the others asked.
"Six chapters. Six chits. Easy."
"No way man, you're going into dangerous waters..." they said in unison, but their tones betrayed their barely concealable interest in the idea.
"Well, it's easy. I'll jot down the main points chapter-wise in six chits. It'll be a piece of cake."
"But what about us?" the other two asked.
"You guys can copy it all from my answer sheet. I'm the most organised of the lot. I'll make the chits concise and compact."
"Ok man, you're the best!"
That night, the protagonist sat up, half nervous, half excited by his master plan.
Later, he calmed down and in a composed manner, began to neatly write down all the salient points of chapter one on the first chit.
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the first chit, he moved on to the second one.
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the second chit, he moved on to the third one.
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the third chit, he took a break.
"Well, this isn't so bad, halfway through already!" he thought happily.
An hour later, he resumed his preparation.
Chapter 4 - The Digestive System
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the fourth chit, he moved on to the fifth one.
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the fifth chit, he moved on to the sixth one.
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the sixth chit, he decided to go to sleep.
"But wait a minute," he thought as he set his alarm clock. "How will I hide so many chits conveniently so as to get the right one at the right time?"
He pondered... All in one pocket will be messy and chaotic to retrieve the desired one in one shot.
Let's see...
Let's start with convenient hiding places...
Upper pocket... Hmmm... Risky, can be seen by the invigilator... Cancel.
Under the watch... Not bad. I'll hold this one.
Left sock... Good!
Right sock... Sure...
Trousers pockets... First place they'll check!!! Cancel!
Hip pocket... Ok, I guess that's not so bad.
Stuck using chewing gum to the left heel of my shoe! Excellent!
Right shoe... Chewing gum... Done!
Whew... that's final then...
Six chits... Six places... Under the watch, hip pocket, left sock, right sock, below left shoe and below right shoe...
He slept soundly with a satisfied smile.
The next morning he was joined by his two friends just outside the exam hall.
They looked at him questioningly.
He smiled and gently patted his watch, his left and right socks, his hip pocket and lifted the heels of his shoes and pointed at them confidently.
"One quick question!" asked one of the other two. "How will you know which chapter's chit is hidden in which particular place?"
"Oh my god, I didn't think of that!!" he replied in horror. "But hey," he suddenly seemed calm again. "I know what we can do," he said looking at his watch. Still 10 minutes remained before the exam commenced.
"Every book has an index!" he said excitedly. "That's what we need."
"A seventh chit!" they all said in unision.
They briskly scrawled the seventh chit and it was as follows:
Index
Chapter 1 - Cells - under watch
Chapter 2 - Skeletal - hip pocket
Chapter 3 - Nervous - right shoe heel
Chapter 4 - Digestive - left sock
Chapter 5 - Urinary - left shoe heel
Chapter 6 - Endocrine - right sock
Happy at last with their preparation, they confidently strode into the exam hall.
The invigilator came in the class instantly and peered around through her thick glasses. They seemed to be microscopes scanning every student for any signs of mischief.
She went on to hand out the question papers to the students. The bell rang. The exam had commenced.
All this happened in a flash. The students began hurriedly scrawling their answers.
Our three boys sat in the corner, strategically positioned so as to be able to clearly peep into each other's sheets.
The invigilator took around the classroom.
Our hero was calm and composed. All six chits were well-hidden in good spots.
The random inspections began...
As anticipated, trouser pockets were heavily targeted and thoroughly checked.
"Whew," the hero thought.
He was checked as well. His pockets were found to be empty.
"Heh heh," he said to himself after the invigilator moved away.
He withdrew the seventh chit and got down to work... The question paper stared him in the face.
He referred his index chit. Chapter 2 - Skeletal - hip pocket.
"Piece of cake," he thought as he withdrew it carefully and copied all the required data. He carefully returned the chit to his hip pocket after he was satisfied with his answer.
Q2. Explain the basic cell structure with a neatly labeled diagram and explain the functions of the nucleus.
Seventh chit to the rescue. Chapter 1 - Cells - under watch.
The other two boys continued copying the first answer from his answer sheet. He pulled out the chit from beneath his watch.
It was a mission too easy now.
He neatly copied the answers and carefully placed the chit under his watch again.
The invigilator caught a glimpse of him fidgeting and was fast approaching him.
He panicked.
He put the index in his mouth!
"Stop it!" the invigilator yelled and pinched his nose.
Instinctively he coughed the index out!
Gross and sticky as it was, it flew across the desk and landed on the floor, a crumpled, damp blob.
The invigilator said with a cruel smile, "Pick it up."
The hero obliged.
"Place it on the desk. Open it."
The rest of the class looked on in, drowned in a deep sea of silence.
The invigilator red aloud the contents of the index.
"Chapter 1 - cells - under watch"
She pulled out the chit from underneath his watch.
A muffled murmur filled the class.
"Quiet!" she commanded.
"Chapter 2 - digestive - hip pocket"
She pulled out the chit from his hip pocket.
A few giggles accompanied the murmur this time.
"Chapter 3..."
One or two students burst out laughing.
The ordeal continued.
"Chapter 4..."
Students seated far away stood on their feet to see the proceedings.
"Chapter 5..."
The farthest students stood on their tables to see the tamasha.
"Chapter 6..."
Both the invigilator as well as the hero were now laughing...
I repeat, the veracity of this story is uncertain. But just spare a thought for the poor boy and his poorer planning!
I do not know the name of the hero of this story, but then again, it is prudent to not mention names when the story is rather embarrassing for the protagonist...
The veracity of the story is indeterminate, I almost certainly believe that this is a concoction cooked up in the mind of a remarkable storyteller amongst my childhood friends, yet a part of me begs that this is indeed a true story... Enjoy!
They were tense. One pensive look was returned by another. Silence spoke a lot; through their eyes it betrayed what they were going to eventually suggest to one another. The three standard 10 students in the empty class were bracing themselves for the nightmare of nightmares... The Biology examination...
One broke the silence, "Man, this is stupid. There's no way I'm clearing this exam. I can't draw those damn cells, I can't spell those damn diseases and I can't distinguish one amino acid from the other."
Another replied, "I'll second you, bro. I'm screwed as well. No amount preparation will see us through this exam."
The hero spoke up, "It isn't about the amount of preparation. It's about the type of preparation..."
"What do you mean?" the others asked.
"Six chapters. Six chits. Easy."
"No way man, you're going into dangerous waters..." they said in unison, but their tones betrayed their barely concealable interest in the idea.
"Well, it's easy. I'll jot down the main points chapter-wise in six chits. It'll be a piece of cake."
"But what about us?" the other two asked.
"You guys can copy it all from my answer sheet. I'm the most organised of the lot. I'll make the chits concise and compact."
"Ok man, you're the best!"
That night, the protagonist sat up, half nervous, half excited by his master plan.
Later, he calmed down and in a composed manner, began to neatly write down all the salient points of chapter one on the first chit.
Chapter 1 - Cell theory
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the first chit, he moved on to the second one.
Chapter 2 -The Skeletal System
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the second chit, he moved on to the third one.
Chapter 3 -The Nervous System
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the third chit, he took a break.
"Well, this isn't so bad, halfway through already!" he thought happily.
An hour later, he resumed his preparation.
Chapter 4 - The Digestive System
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the fourth chit, he moved on to the fifth one.
Chapter 5 - The Urinary System
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the fifth chit, he moved on to the sixth one.
Chapter 6 - The Endocrine Glands
Some definitions followed.
And a brief summary of the entire chapter.
Happy with the sixth chit, he decided to go to sleep.
"But wait a minute," he thought as he set his alarm clock. "How will I hide so many chits conveniently so as to get the right one at the right time?"
He pondered... All in one pocket will be messy and chaotic to retrieve the desired one in one shot.
Let's see...
Let's start with convenient hiding places...
Upper pocket... Hmmm... Risky, can be seen by the invigilator... Cancel.
Under the watch... Not bad. I'll hold this one.
Left sock... Good!
Right sock... Sure...
Trousers pockets... First place they'll check!!! Cancel!
Hip pocket... Ok, I guess that's not so bad.
Stuck using chewing gum to the left heel of my shoe! Excellent!
Right shoe... Chewing gum... Done!
Whew... that's final then...
Six chits... Six places... Under the watch, hip pocket, left sock, right sock, below left shoe and below right shoe...
He slept soundly with a satisfied smile.
The next morning he was joined by his two friends just outside the exam hall.
They looked at him questioningly.
He smiled and gently patted his watch, his left and right socks, his hip pocket and lifted the heels of his shoes and pointed at them confidently.
"One quick question!" asked one of the other two. "How will you know which chapter's chit is hidden in which particular place?"
"Oh my god, I didn't think of that!!" he replied in horror. "But hey," he suddenly seemed calm again. "I know what we can do," he said looking at his watch. Still 10 minutes remained before the exam commenced.
"Every book has an index!" he said excitedly. "That's what we need."
"A seventh chit!" they all said in unision.
They briskly scrawled the seventh chit and it was as follows:
Index
Chapter 1 - Cells - under watch
Chapter 2 - Skeletal - hip pocket
Chapter 3 - Nervous - right shoe heel
Chapter 4 - Digestive - left sock
Chapter 5 - Urinary - left shoe heel
Chapter 6 - Endocrine - right sock
Happy at last with their preparation, they confidently strode into the exam hall.
The invigilator came in the class instantly and peered around through her thick glasses. They seemed to be microscopes scanning every student for any signs of mischief.
She went on to hand out the question papers to the students. The bell rang. The exam had commenced.
All this happened in a flash. The students began hurriedly scrawling their answers.
Our three boys sat in the corner, strategically positioned so as to be able to clearly peep into each other's sheets.
The invigilator took around the classroom.
Our hero was calm and composed. All six chits were well-hidden in good spots.
The random inspections began...
As anticipated, trouser pockets were heavily targeted and thoroughly checked.
"Whew," the hero thought.
He was checked as well. His pockets were found to be empty.
"Heh heh," he said to himself after the invigilator moved away.
He withdrew the seventh chit and got down to work... The question paper stared him in the face.
Q1. Draw the human skeletal system and explain the following in brief - Humerus, Tibia, Fibula.
He referred his index chit. Chapter 2 - Skeletal - hip pocket.
"Piece of cake," he thought as he withdrew it carefully and copied all the required data. He carefully returned the chit to his hip pocket after he was satisfied with his answer.
Q2. Explain the basic cell structure with a neatly labeled diagram and explain the functions of the nucleus.
Seventh chit to the rescue. Chapter 1 - Cells - under watch.
The other two boys continued copying the first answer from his answer sheet. He pulled out the chit from beneath his watch.
It was a mission too easy now.
He neatly copied the answers and carefully placed the chit under his watch again.
STUNNER!
The invigilator caught a glimpse of him fidgeting and was fast approaching him.
He panicked.
He put the index in his mouth!
"Stop it!" the invigilator yelled and pinched his nose.
Instinctively he coughed the index out!
Gross and sticky as it was, it flew across the desk and landed on the floor, a crumpled, damp blob.
The invigilator said with a cruel smile, "Pick it up."
The hero obliged.
"Place it on the desk. Open it."
The rest of the class looked on in, drowned in a deep sea of silence.
The invigilator red aloud the contents of the index.
"Chapter 1 - cells - under watch"
She pulled out the chit from underneath his watch.
A muffled murmur filled the class.
"Quiet!" she commanded.
"Chapter 2 - digestive - hip pocket"
She pulled out the chit from his hip pocket.
A few giggles accompanied the murmur this time.
"Chapter 3..."
One or two students burst out laughing.
The ordeal continued.
"Chapter 4..."
Students seated far away stood on their feet to see the proceedings.
"Chapter 5..."
The farthest students stood on their tables to see the tamasha.
"Chapter 6..."
Both the invigilator as well as the hero were now laughing...
I repeat, the veracity of this story is uncertain. But just spare a thought for the poor boy and his poorer planning!
Lol...hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! That was a really funny story :D
ReplyDeleteThat was funny. Jitna ohh mehanat kiyaa hain.. he would've easily remembered at the end of it :P
ReplyDelete